Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
