Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
