i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
