Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
