I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
