i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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