Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
