I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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