I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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