I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
