I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
