somebody snuck up and got me drunk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So many bounce houses so little time
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
