i permit you to call me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
