you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
