no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
