Buhtt sex?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
