I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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