How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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