I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
