Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
there's paper in my vomit.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
