Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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