whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
