u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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