i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
