I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
