I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
