Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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