just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
