8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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