My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
