girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
