...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
where does the pee come out of this thing
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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