Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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