he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
