Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
