she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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