yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
