You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
