On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
