No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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