He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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