i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
