I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
