grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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