I will die if light touches me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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