$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
