Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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