she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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