He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
