I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
