i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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