U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
