I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
