Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
